Control Freak

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May 16

Current Mood: Relieved.

Today's Lesson: A controlling man and an independent woman do not go hand in hand.

On my quest for my Mr. Right, I have come across my share of "Oh-So-Wrongs," the most recent being quite the doozy. This guy had control problems, he had power struggle issues, and was just plain not the one for me.

I noticed he had some issues when his jealous side reared it's head from time to time. Then he began attempting to tell me what to do. The last straw came when the words, "Because I said so" left his mouth. Now I already have a Dad, I don't need another one, but that's not the point. I noticed that he liked to be in control of things around him. He liked knowing what was going on. I started to wonder what made someone like this. I asked myself, why was this guy like he was?

Did he just have to be in control over everything? Did he enjoy bossing his girlfriends around? Or was it something much deeper? I started to think maybe he had self-confidence problems. Maybe by being "in charge" it charged his ego...made him feel more like a man. Then again, could it have been some form of OCD, having the need to control aspects of his life...feeling vulnerable if things weren't going the way he wanted them to? Then again, perhaps this was how he was raised, taught this behavior from his own father from very early on. Whatever the reason, I knew I couldn't stay with him. I couldn't help him and even if I could have, he didn't want my help. So here I am again, single and searching.

-Jamie

5:39 AM | Blog it

Comments (16)

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	Heidi Mitchellwrote: Lucky you it was just a boyfriend. My mother in law is this way. Worse than you can imagine and it is so had to live with her in my life. I feel like smacking her daily!!! I do believe it's a need to protect themselves and it comes with a good deal of paranoia causing jelously, distrust, etc. My mother in law actually thinks she needs to be my son's mother and has told me on a few occasion such. Oct. 30
	jackywrote: Hi folks, well, im just getting rid of my control freak. What a flippin nightmare! I endured being manipulatedfor 5 years. Why all that time you say? Well cos im a sensitive deep thinking type and he manipulated me into quesioning everything thatcame natural to me and had been perfectly ok for all my life. Anyway, single now but better off alone i say. Or risk sitting alone in old age with no friends or life. Cheers, jackie. U.K x Oct. 15
	学安侯wrote: maybe u know sth about pschology? hehe I agree with you about this man Mar. 29
	aMywrote: what Up??!!:) heyJaMiE!!! I like!! very awesome!!:) (i see you got back up!) a controling man....i think his issues lay with the need not to be hurt and control himself...so becomes the aggresser...so he is in control....maybe:s kick to the curb:) ~aMy~ May 21
	lisa cwrote: Oh I dated a guy like that. He tried to tell me what to buy/wear. I laughed at first cause I though he was joking when he pointed out somethings that my grandma would have had in her closet. He said I am a good judge cause I took fashion design in college. LOL I laughed again and said you are kidding right? He said um no...needless to say that was the last time I saw him. I told him I didn't think it would work. Still searching... May 17
	Jiawen wrote: Hi Jamie, Your writing is so good and your humor makes me laugh,enjoy this blog so much~~ Stacey May 17
	Cwrote: It is definately insecurity,, I do not understand it my self but for some reason those guys who are not able to control themselves and or their own life feel it incumbent upon them to attempt to control every one elses,,, there ought to be some sort of a school that would teach those guys that it don't work that way,, all you get is unhappy if you allow such in your life,,, unfortunately I know several girls that need the same class,,,,, they seem to think they need some stupid guy telling them what to do every munute of their lives,,, personally I want a significant other to walk beside me ,, ( girl in my case ) not lead ,, not follow just walk beside May 17
	barnyardmamawrote: I have, unfortunately, dated not one but TWO OCD guys. Never pretty. But, worse still, guys that make you question yourself. Kick their arses to the curb, pronto. KM May 16
	Tonyawrote: Before I got married I dated a few crazy people, I used to always be drawn to real losers, but thank the Lord that my hubby and I found each other! He really is one of the few good ones. May 16
	Alba Bwrote: Its a good thing that you find out these things early on in the relationship. Whatever happened with the ex moving in next door? Have a great day Jamie! May 16
	Janetwrote: This was the topic of discussion last night at my focus group. Basically, a control freak has a high need for power. But control someone else is an abuse of that need. So glad you said good riddance!! May 16
	Frana Blaylockwrote: good job getting out fast!!! those control freaks can be dangerous. hugs frana May 16
	maxwrote: It's basically fear. Fear that certain needs will not be met and therefore he is afraid of being in a position of needing. So if he controls then he can get what he needs. It's very similiar to someone who goes only so far in a relationship and then backs out when it's time to commit. They are afraid of being in a needy state. Sound like anyone you know? it's always funny how the things that make us the maddest are our biggest problems at the deeper levels. May 16
	terriwrote: P.S. I LOVE THE IDEA Y'ALL HAVE HERE....FINDING FRUITCAKE IS AN AWESOME NAME!!! May 16
	terriwrote: I think insecurities lead to the attempt to control. I find myself trying to control most in situations where i am not comfortable. But who knows...probably raised like that too. And good thing that you let that one go...you certainly don't need someone trying to control you. BIGG HUGGSS!! terri May 16
	Kelbswrote: You said exactly what I was thinking as I was reading. I'm convinced that upbringing and lack of self confidence are 2 of the biggest factors in men like that. Was he short too? I say that because, I have dated a few short men in my life, I mean by short, under 5',7". I think my friend defined it as "little mans syndrome" where they feel the need to make up for their height in the way they act. Like you said, makes them feel more like a man. I also dated a guy, 6',2" that was like that, he just had complete upbringing issues. No little man's syndrome. Anyway, sorry for the ramble, interesting post though. I loved psych in school and loved trying to figure out why people do what they do. :) Have a great day. Kelbs May 16

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